#8) It's a LONG way to the top, if ya wanna Rock and Roll!

I am standing at the Train, The Santaland Express,which
serves as an entrance into Santaland.


It is 11:30 in the a.m and
I have been on my feet since
8:30am. Already the line to get in is robust. It snakes around and through the back hallways, divided 4 and 5
times by stanchions and vinyl dividers. The same people herd by us two and three times. In my feeble brain, I judge them and give them names. The Spoon Family. George and George, (an elderly french couple). The OSG, (Obligatory Sorority Girls.)




We are encouraged to engage and amuse the guests in line.


Three of the Elves have formed a makeshift choir and are singing Christmas songs acappella as I join them on the platform.


Sparkles annoyingly chirps, “I'll pick a song and then we'll all take turns picking songs until somebody gets stumped! Eee hee hee!” She laughs in a cloying chipmunk voice that she has cultivated.


None of the patrons laugh.


So Sparkles starts to sing “We wish you a merry Christmas!” and we all try to find a part and join in.


The Spoon Family, decked out in their finery pass by again. 5 year old “Blaine Cassidy, the 3rd” is wailing.




Misteltoe starts us off again with “Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!” Every song has an exclamation point after it.


George and George, the elderly French couple pass us. George nods and forces a smile. George does not.


Chuzzlewit careens into a version of “Frosty the Snowman” and we all try to follow.
He is interrupted by the shrieking of the sorority girls as they take photos of themselves suggestively licking the candy canes on the walls of the train.

Sparkles looks expec
tantly at me.
“SnowGlobe?” she queries.


“GLOB!”, I say.
“SnowGLOB!”


Three elf faces turn to
  me.

I look at the sea of
  faces, many who have been
in line for over two hours
to get to this point.


“WOH, YOU'RE HALFWAY THERE-HAIR!
WO-HO! SANTA'S UP THE STA-HAIRS!
TAKE MY HAND, WE'LL MAKE IT I SWEA-HAIRS!
WO-HOH! LIV-IN ON A PRAYERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!


Apparently, they have no appreciation for John Francis Bongiovi Jr...I am never asked to sing with them again.